Actually this article has been written on monday but it didn’t please me enough to post it. Well, it’s a piece of thoughts which have to be expressed, so I decided to publish it anyway.
For the time being, I’m wondering why I’m writing this entry in English, why I’m thinking this whole bunch of confusing thoughts in English, but actually things just happen. A few hours before, I have been working, cleaning a few staircases, and thinking about the things which are currently going on in my head and all around me.
It all comes down to yesterday’s situation where my best friend asked me why it is always me experiencing romantic situations and not her. This question led me to think about a clear definition of romanticism on the one hand and about the reasons, why it always seems to be me and not her who gets the chances to make those experiences.
The unconditional reason which came to my mind is the fact that I’m always into the so-called „good guys“ or at least the kind of guys I would consider as „good guys“.
Some female friends of mine often complain that they always choose the false men, the typical assholes, those who are ignorant, egoistic and stubborn, maybe undiscerning.
When I think it over, I have to admit that I’ve also been in relationships which made me recognize that my boyfriend was an asshole, but I guess that there must be something which leads those women to always fall in love with this kind of men. Maybe it’s because they rather look at the whole beautiful and delicious cake than concentrate on the many different ingredients which you can find in the smallest slice of it.
What I want to say is that I am more into details – that I don’t look at a guy and think „Oh my God, he’s f***ing awesome and sexy!“ but get to know him and recognize all the tiny details of his personality which make him special.
First, I get to know the person, then it all comes down to the superficial things and this may be the reason why I – almost always – choose the „good guys“.
Well, the striking question now might be „What the f**k is a ‚good guy‘ and what does it have to do with romanticism?“ – I guess, the definition of this kind of guy is quite dependent on one’s own definition of romanticism.
Romanticism is a subjective perception.
For me, a romantic situation is dependent on details; buying the same clothes, for example.
Well… where is the detail in it and why is it a romantic situation?
It’s romantic if you buy the clothes to always wear it when you are together with the other one, with your partner, with the one you are in love with. It’s a detail because you put relevance into something which ought to be irrelevant. It’s crazy and a little childish, it’s spontaneous and for me it’s romantic.
Lying next to each other, naked, too anxious to touch the other one’s body, although you may have done things like that a hundred times before – if it was a scene in a movie, I would have cried and it’s one of the most romantic imaginations for me.
It’s not having too high expectations but just to abandon oneself to the other one.
And good guys don’t have too high expectations, too.
Certainly it’s not the whole secret. But I guess, it’s not the smallest part of it. Hm…